A Recipe for Successful Weight Loss

Ingredients

Some street food such as Chole Kulcha or Chicken Momos
A lassi
A reduced intake of alcohol
Greatly increased intake of water
Reduced appetite
The start of a hot Delhi summer
Some exercise such as walking, swimming, yoga and running

For this recipe it is important to have first settled into your new surroundings and have a routine. Attend yoga three times per week at the temple across the road and revel in listening to the temple bells whilst contorting yourself into various assans or meditating. Combine this with walking to and from work. This is especially easy to do if you find it a hassle getting in autos. Add a smattering of swimming and running. Sweat.

For this recipe you will find it easier if your VSO placement is in an area where your choice of food is Western junk, greasy Indian takeaway or tasty and cheap street food. Keep forgetting to take in your own food so you resort to the street food. Bake at a Delhi summer temperature of 42 degrees (or gas mark 19). This level of heat is necessary to ensure the mix of street food becomes a lethal concoction of bad salad onions, infected meat and bad hygiene. You will find your tolerance to these foods won’t be as good as the locals even if you think being in country for 5 months will have sorted you out. Add these ingredients until you see the first few rounds of the so-called Delhi Belly.

Reduce your appetite drastically at this point. If the infection has persisted, reluctantly take some antibiotics until the weight loss really kicks in. The next stage of the recipe needs only a few ingredients. Add only dry toast, probiotic dahi (a.k.a. yoghurt) and peeled apples. Ensure you wash this down with 6 – 8 litres of water a day. Occasionally add a pinch of rehydration salts. At this point stop all exercise unless you can be sure you have enough energy and there are toilet facilities nearby.

Should you feel better, you can decide to add another infection from street food. At this point there is a real danger of dehydration or acute gastroenteritis. Ensure you stay in contact with a good doctor and you know where the nearest hospital is. Should you have a second infection, again stick to the above few ingredients for another week. Once you are better from a second course of antibiotics and you are back on normal foods, go to a notoriously dirty Indian town such as Varanasi for the weekend. Be careful whilst eating out in travellers’ cafes and clean Indian restaurants but then decide to drink a lassi on the last day.

Call the doctor on your return stating you really don’t want to take a third course of antibiotics but will if you must. If you’re not feeling well at this point you can add some humiliation by having to attend the doctors with a stool sample. Add the antibiotics depending on the results of the sample and continue with the usual diet of dahi and toast. Add the occasional egg if the recipe tastes bland.

Once the effects of Delhi belly decrease and appetite returns, keep meals small and resume levels of exercise. If the above steps are followed correctly you will find you can negate the effects of the weight gain recipe and even enhance your weight loss.

HEALTH WARNING: This method of weight loss will only work with a calorie controlled diet. Please see your doctor if you have any pre-existing health conditions.

Pics courtesy of:

http://antibioticsandalcohol.net/

http://www.smccd.edu/accounts/salahuddinr/

http://showmethecurry.com/category/odds-ends