A Recipe for Successful Weight Gain

Weight yoyo-ing is apparently usual in Delhi due to the change in temperature between winter and summer. Mine may have been a little bit more extreme. Gillian McKeith watch out, here’s how I did it:

Ingredients:

Lashings of Ghee 

Butter naans 

Karti rolls 

Anything with paneer 

Greasy but available Western food: burgers, pizzas, fries

Sundaes

Cheap local chocolate: 5 star bars are ideal

VSO volunteers

New surroundings

Sugary Chai

First take a change in surroundings and embark on a VSO in-country orientation programme in Delhi. Mix the following ingredients in a big pot: boring hostel food such as watery dahl and rotis, the same rice and pickle every day and soggy toast every morning. Simmer for a while. Chuck in a new set of colleagues and put around 18 in tiny shared rooms for 4 weeks. In order to make sure the ingredients cook correctly attend the really intense Hindi lessons.  Ensure all bonding sessions are done over food and meals out.

Once the broth has simmered for a week or two, add the greasy but available Western food at Eatopia and McDonald’s. At this point be careful of your morals when it comes to globalisation, you may have to discard these for the sake of your mental wellbeing. Continue to add a smattering of fries and McAloo Tikki burgers every few days. Stir occasionally.

At the end of the second week add in the plentiful local supply of new, cheap and tasty food at Gulab’s and other restaurants in Mehar Chand market.  Be liberal at this point. Don’t spare on any of the Butter Naans, Karti rolls, paneer or anything with ghee.

You will find this result reinvigorates your tastebuds and your appetite. Take at least one portion of the meal daily and add in some comfort chocolate such as the local 5 star bars if you wish to have quicker results. After 4 weeks, add the start of a cold Delhi winter, some accommodation issues, two extra weeks in a guesthouse and plenty of warming sugary Indian Chai.

After a few months you will find the recipe has been successful. If followed correctly you could gain anything from 5 – 10 kg.

Next instalment coming soon: Recipe for Successful Weight Loss